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Stuck On Repeat

by Altru

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1.
Intro 01:39
2.
Better Off 03:24
That day I realized, I had to cut these ties you, gave me a smile, said you’d stay without abandon. Restless with heavy eyes I, sat in that car and thought, “If this flame still burns, tell me why I don’t feel anything.” Pacing and going in circles in my head, I find it hard to fight for you. Follow the tracks you’ll find an endless circle, where there’s no room for two. I think it’s safe to say that, this ship is sinking quick. We forgot how to swim, the waves pulling us in. I really hate to say that, this means calling it quits. We capsized, lost my breath, I need a second wind. That day I realized, I had to cut these ties you, gave me a smile, said you’d stay without abandon. Restless with heavy eyes I, sat in that car and thought, “If this flame still burns, tell me why I don’t feel anything.” I saw the warmth fade from your eyes. Flooded with denial, saying, “this could all be saved in time.” We’re not on the same page. No we’re not. So I’ll turn the page to a blank slate, and attempt to write these wrongs. In time I hope that you can find it deep in your heart, to forgive, even though I know I shattered and tore it apart. When you pick up the pieces, and examine the scar, I hope that you think of me, and know that you’re better off. That day I realized, I had to cut these ties you gave me a smile, said you’d stay without abandon. Restless with heavy eyes I, sat in that car and thought, “If this flame still burns, tell me why I don’t feel anything.” We can’t force these pieces to fit. You know that you’re better off. We forced these pieces to fit. It fell apart. You just wanted to think, this was perfect. I stopped wanting to fake; quit going through the motions. You just wanted to think, this was just fine. I stopped by just to say, I think we’ve run out of time.
3.
It’s so easy just to turn my back and run from you, but it wouldn’t change a thing. (You’re stuck) I’m locked in place. (That look) you left on my face. You tied me up with words but though they hurt I should’ve known better. If you want any more of me(anymore of me) you’ll have to take it off my cold dead body. I should’ve known better about you. (I should’ve known better about you.) I should’ve taken my shot and dropped you on the spot. (I’ll leave you behind.) I should’ve seen this type of thing coming from miles away. It’s so easy to walk on this thin line You lost your balance at the wrong time. Wind rushing by your face, you realized that you should’ve known better. Better face the facts, we were dead from the start. In life and death, you’d throw me out to the wolves. I’ve faced the facts and I know who you are. I realized I should’ve known better. If you want any more of me (any more of me) you’ll have to take it off my cold dead body. I should’ve known better about you. (I should’ve known better about you.) I should’ve taken my shot and dropped you on the spot. (I’ll leave you behind.) I should’ve seen this type of thing coming from miles away. I should’ve taken my shot and dropped you on the spot. (Left you behind.) I should’ve known better about you. (I should’ve known better about you.) I should’ve taken my shot and dropped you on the spot. (I’ll leave you behind.) It’s so easy just to turn my back and run from you, but it wouldn’t change a thing.
4.
(With a lineage of absence.) I swore it wouldn’t be like this. (Quit passing the blame, just man up and do something about it.) If I constantly falter, (Don’t be like the others.) Why put in the effort, I’ll just end up pushing them away. I’d like to think that I’ve been something more than a figment of your memory but I’d be lying, if I didn’t admit: No doubt I’ve let you down, just look to somebody else. I’m just a broken record collecting dust on the shelf. I’ll brush myself off and work harder. Quit skipping out on what matters. x2 Who am I? I guess you wouldn’t really know. It’s my fault, leaving before we could grow. My blood, my kin. I live fine, on the outside, but truly there’s a struggle within. What I have and haven’t has been my biggest regret. Ups and downs, smiles and frowns; just ask me where I have been. This song plays on and on as the needle starts to dig. I’d like to think that I’ve been, something more than a figment of your memory but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit, And I swear, that I could never admit. I'm stuck on repeat, I keep on, doing all of these things, No doubt, I’ve let you down, but, I'm stuck on repeat, I keep on doing all of these things, No doubt, I’ve let you down, but now I can see, that I’m Stuck on repeat, I keep on doing these things. No doubt I’ve let you down, but now I can see that I’m gone. But i'm Stuck on repeat, I keep on doing these things, No doubt I've let you down, and now I can see, I'm stuck on repeat, I keep on doing these things, A carbon copy of what I never wanted to be.
5.
Dark Circles 02:33
Dark circles, sagging under strained eye. Dragging on, I never find peace at night. Trudging through the snow that shouldn’t be here, wondering what it’d be like, if things were clear. So don’t let this get you down. I just have to say, I hope you’re doing alright, doing OK. Now we’re just getting older. Our lives just getting shorter. And I don’t know if I’ll be alright. I keep trying to hold onto this small glimmer of light. I know you’re not here to share all I have. It’s not much, but it’s mine to save. You’re not worth it to save.
6.
Deuces 02:56
It wasn't that long ago that I could say that everything was going right, and everything was going my way. Now everyone I meet is so grey and dull. They're all walking the same path, but I'll be fine walking mine all alone. Is something wrong with me now? I can't help but feel like we're going down. If there is one thing that you taught me; It's that these empty hearts won't set me free. I'm looking for something that I once had. That spark and glow that used to push me so far past. You were the worst thing, but accepted me for me. Now thanks to all this changing I can't relate to anybody. Goodbye, so long, farewell, I'll think of anything I can say to wish (saying that we all grew up is just, the shittiest way of saying ) you good day. (goodbye) And to whoever it may concern, just know those memories still live and burn. But if they don't it's none of your concern. You never mattered, and we could care less at all. I'm looking for something that I once had. That spark and glow that used to push me so far past. You were the worst thing, but accepted me for me. Now thanks to all this changing I can't relate to anybody. Now I can't relate, I can't relate!
7.
Changing 03:59
Do you know, (do you know), Just what it takes, what it takes to lose it? I thought it would take some time, but time wasn’t on my side. And I’m pacing, (I'm pacing), Treading backwards. Back to the place where I know that my thoughts can’t invade. I’m looking for the faces that don’t judge. They always seem to want so much from… Looking back I never had the guts to say what was on my mind. Now that things have changed I think that I have realized, (I have lied), To myself and to my friends (this isn’t who I wanted to be). I think I see now that this can’t be reality. Forget all the things we've made (and the things we’ve done). We’re starting over, pushing forward, until we wake up. I’m looking for the faces that don’t judge. They always seem to want so much from me. These voices. These footsteps. I don’t know which ones to follow. These are my friends and this is my dream. I’m taking it back one day at a time. These are my friends and this is my dream. I’m taking it back one day at a time. (These voices. These footsteps. I don’t know which ones to follow. These voices. These footsteps.) We will shine. Why don’t you just step back for a second and see, That I won’t let this turn out the way you wanted for me. I will not be the man you wanted me to be. I’m looking for the faces that don’t judge. They always seem to want so much from me. These voices. These footsteps. I don’t know which ones to follow. These are my friends and this is my dream. I’m taking it back one day at a time. I’m changing.

credits

released November 2, 2016

Recorded by Matt Reisinger
Mixed and mastered by Austin Coupe

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Altru Bradenton, Florida

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